HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I want to take this time to thank all of my readers who have been faithful to read my posts! I appreciate all of you!
THANK YOU!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
A Day of Thanks
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I want to take this time to thank all of my readers who have been faithful to read my posts! I appreciate all of you!
THANK YOU!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
It'll be back...I promise!
Life has been kinda busy for the past week and a half. So, I haven't had the opportunity to do any posts on the booklet...but as the title says it will be back!!! I PROMISE! Just keep with me, I hope to still get some posts on here. :o)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Seven Royal Laws of Courtship Part III
Chapter 2
Tenants of the
Second Royal Law of Courtship
Part III of VI
"By the grace of Almighty God, I will arrive at
the marriage altar morally pure."
5. Understand the importance of "pacing" a relationship. This is essential in helping you arrive at the altar pure and chaste.
In order to properly pace a relationship you need to answer these questions:
a.) What is the safest age a serious relationship should start?
b.) What would be the best time marriage should be considered?
c.) At what pace should a relationship move so that it will peak in intensity no earlier than the proper timing for marriage?
I am going to offer here some practical advice based on Bible principles, common sense and over twenty years' experience working with teenagers. Some parents allow their teenagers to ride the romance roller coaster. Many let them start in junior high school or even before, allowing them to become involved in one dead-end romantic relationship after another. These "practice relationships" leave young people emotionally scared and vulnerable. Please consider the following suggestions.
a.) Spend your high school years serving the Lord, making friendships and preparing yourself for your future.
b.) Do not get into a serous boy-girl relationship during your high school years. When you graduate from high school, you should have all your options open. There will be an enormous difference between how you look at life on the day you turn sixteen years of age and how you view it on the day you turn twenty-one. Your view of yourself, of others, of God and of what is truly important will have gone through a dramatic change. I personally believe that most young people would be wise to wait until the end of this six-year period before pursuing a serious relationship.
c.) Most romantic relationships peak in intensity within a two-year period. What I mean by that is, after two years, you have exhausted every level that a proper relationship can rightly achieve and are ready to be married! If this is true, why start a serious relationship five years before you should be married?
If you do not properly pace your relationship, you will peak before you should and one of the following things will happen:
a.) You will get married before you should.
b.) You will break up with that person out of frustration.
c.) You will continue forward into areas intended to be developed after marriage.
None of these three leads to personal happiness, so exercise patience during your teen years. Let little steps be big ones. Enjoy all phases of your life. Build many friendships during your teen years and leave it up to God to develop one of these friendships into something more in His time and according to His perfect will.
6. Have a game plan.
Age 13-18: "I'm not going to get caught up in riding the romance roller coaster. God has someone He is preparing for me, and during these years I will prepare for that special one."
Age 18 and beyond: "The time has come for me to prayerfully consider other dedicated Christian young people as a possible partner for life. I will rely heavily upon the counsel of my parents and the Holy Spirit's leading. I refuse to get in too big of a hurry. I will begin preparing to accomplish what God has directed me to do. When God leads me to this one, I will pray for great wisdom in pacing our relationship so that we both enjoy each step as God turns our friendship into divine love."
In order to properly pace a relationship you need to answer these questions:
a.) What is the safest age a serious relationship should start?
b.) What would be the best time marriage should be considered?
c.) At what pace should a relationship move so that it will peak in intensity no earlier than the proper timing for marriage?
I am going to offer here some practical advice based on Bible principles, common sense and over twenty years' experience working with teenagers. Some parents allow their teenagers to ride the romance roller coaster. Many let them start in junior high school or even before, allowing them to become involved in one dead-end romantic relationship after another. These "practice relationships" leave young people emotionally scared and vulnerable. Please consider the following suggestions.
a.) Spend your high school years serving the Lord, making friendships and preparing yourself for your future.
b.) Do not get into a serous boy-girl relationship during your high school years. When you graduate from high school, you should have all your options open. There will be an enormous difference between how you look at life on the day you turn sixteen years of age and how you view it on the day you turn twenty-one. Your view of yourself, of others, of God and of what is truly important will have gone through a dramatic change. I personally believe that most young people would be wise to wait until the end of this six-year period before pursuing a serious relationship.
c.) Most romantic relationships peak in intensity within a two-year period. What I mean by that is, after two years, you have exhausted every level that a proper relationship can rightly achieve and are ready to be married! If this is true, why start a serious relationship five years before you should be married?
If you do not properly pace your relationship, you will peak before you should and one of the following things will happen:
a.) You will get married before you should.
b.) You will break up with that person out of frustration.
c.) You will continue forward into areas intended to be developed after marriage.
None of these three leads to personal happiness, so exercise patience during your teen years. Let little steps be big ones. Enjoy all phases of your life. Build many friendships during your teen years and leave it up to God to develop one of these friendships into something more in His time and according to His perfect will.
6. Have a game plan.
Age 13-18: "I'm not going to get caught up in riding the romance roller coaster. God has someone He is preparing for me, and during these years I will prepare for that special one."
Age 18 and beyond: "The time has come for me to prayerfully consider other dedicated Christian young people as a possible partner for life. I will rely heavily upon the counsel of my parents and the Holy Spirit's leading. I refuse to get in too big of a hurry. I will begin preparing to accomplish what God has directed me to do. When God leads me to this one, I will pray for great wisdom in pacing our relationship so that we both enjoy each step as God turns our friendship into divine love."
Copyright 2004
by Ultimate Goal Publications
All rights Reserved
(Permission given by Author)
by Ultimate Goal Publications
All rights Reserved
(Permission given by Author)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Seven Royal Laws of Courtship Part III
Chapter 2
Tenants of the
Second Royal Law of Courtship
Part II of VI
"By the grace of Almighty God, I will arrive at
the marriage altar morally pure."
3. Institute a personal "no-touch rule" and enforce it.
A personal no-touch rule means that you do not touch members of the opposite gender who are immediate family, nor do you allow them to touch you. The Bible tells us that this will guard you against fornication.
"Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. Receive us; we have wronged no man, we have corrupted no man, we have defrauded no man." (II Corinthians 7:1-2).
"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" (I Corinthians 7:1-2).
A personal no-touch rule will require you to build relationships based on friendship and respect instead of lust and selfishness. If a young man or a young lady claims to love you, then they will be committed to protecting your purity and your reputation.
It is impossible to maintain a pure mind without maintaining a high standard of physical restraint. No young person can handle a member of the opposite gender without stirring his/her own personal passions. We are commanded in the Bible not to defraud one another. Defrauding another means to stir up desires within them that cannot be rightly satisfied.
"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness" (I Thessalonians 4:3-7).
The time to develope a physical relatonship is after marriage, not before. "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing" (Ecclesiastes 3:1...5).
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
One step of romantic physical contact will lead to the next: holding hands>hugging>kissing>petting>ruined testimony.
I recently read in USA Today that 85% of single 17-year-olds admitted to having already lost their purity. If Christian young people insist of following the dating standards of the world, then they will live with the results of those standards. On the other hand, 100% of young people who institute a personal no-touch rule and anforce it arrive at the marrige altar morally pure. 100%!
4. Never place yourself in a situation that increases the temptation or the opportunity to be immoral. Never be alone or isolated as a couple.
"But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof" (Romans 13:14).
There has been much written in the recent years concerning the difference between dating and courting. Let me summarize the difference simply. Courting is developing a relationship with an individual in the safty of a group. Dating involves a couple isolating themselves from the others and thus leaving themselves open to temptation. The world's dating philosophy has robbed many young people of their purity. Don't date alone in a car. Never be alone in either of your parents' homes. Stay in the safty of good Christian company. Isolation increases temptation and provides opportunity: it makes "provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof".
A personal no-touch rule means that you do not touch members of the opposite gender who are immediate family, nor do you allow them to touch you. The Bible tells us that this will guard you against fornication.
"Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. Receive us; we have wronged no man, we have corrupted no man, we have defrauded no man." (II Corinthians 7:1-2).
"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" (I Corinthians 7:1-2).
A personal no-touch rule will require you to build relationships based on friendship and respect instead of lust and selfishness. If a young man or a young lady claims to love you, then they will be committed to protecting your purity and your reputation.
It is impossible to maintain a pure mind without maintaining a high standard of physical restraint. No young person can handle a member of the opposite gender without stirring his/her own personal passions. We are commanded in the Bible not to defraud one another. Defrauding another means to stir up desires within them that cannot be rightly satisfied.
"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness" (I Thessalonians 4:3-7).
The time to develope a physical relatonship is after marriage, not before. "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing" (Ecclesiastes 3:1...5).
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
One step of romantic physical contact will lead to the next: holding hands>hugging>kissing>petting>ruined testimony.
I recently read in USA Today that 85% of single 17-year-olds admitted to having already lost their purity. If Christian young people insist of following the dating standards of the world, then they will live with the results of those standards. On the other hand, 100% of young people who institute a personal no-touch rule and anforce it arrive at the marrige altar morally pure. 100%!
4. Never place yourself in a situation that increases the temptation or the opportunity to be immoral. Never be alone or isolated as a couple.
"But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof" (Romans 13:14).
There has been much written in the recent years concerning the difference between dating and courting. Let me summarize the difference simply. Courting is developing a relationship with an individual in the safty of a group. Dating involves a couple isolating themselves from the others and thus leaving themselves open to temptation. The world's dating philosophy has robbed many young people of their purity. Don't date alone in a car. Never be alone in either of your parents' homes. Stay in the safty of good Christian company. Isolation increases temptation and provides opportunity: it makes "provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof".
Copyright 2004
by Ultimate Goal Publications
All rights Reserved
(Permissions given by Author)
by Ultimate Goal Publications
All rights Reserved
(Permissions given by Author)
Friday, November 07, 2008
Seven Royal Laws of Courtship Part III
Chapter 2
Tenants of the
Second Royal Law of Courtship
Part I of VI
"By the grace of Almighty God, I will arrive at
the marriage altar morally pure."
The Christian world abounds with horror stories when it comes to young people and immorality. Any pastor in America could tell multiple illustrations about Christian young people who blew it when it came to preserving their purity. Some Christian leaders have lowered the standard and have even suggested that premarital sex is just a given nowadays and not that big of a deal. The Word of God, however, clearly outlines God's standard and warns of the consequences of ignoring it.
"Thou shalt not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14).
"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" (I Corinthians 6:18).
"For this is the will of God, even your satisfaction, that ye should abstain from fornication" (I Thessalonians 4:3).
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
Don't let Satan deceive you! Not everyone is "doing it." Multitudes of Christian young people across America are preserving their purity as a gift they will someday give to the one God has created for them.
How can a Christian young person live by the Second Royal Law of Courtship in the midst of am "if it feels good, do it" world?
1. Make a vow of chastity to the Lord. this is a solemn promise, a vow to the Lord, a commitment to keep yourself pure until your wedding day. Read the following verse carefully. This is the right thing to do, but be warned: God will hold you to your vow.
"When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee" (Deuteronomy 23:21).
2. Realize the battleground for purity is fought in the mind. Work at developing a pure mind. First, let's be reminded that we are commanded to have a pure mind and heart. God would not command us to do something without giving us the power and ability to do it.
"Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (II Timothy 2:22).
"Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure" (I John 3:2-3).
Guard your eye gates! The mind collects information sent to it for many sources, sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, but most of the information is collected through a person's eye gates! You must be careful what you look at each day.
"I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes" (Psalm 101:3).
"I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?" (Job 31:1).
"How do I deal with evil thoughts?" Mant times I have had young people come in need of advice on how to overcome the wrong kind of thoughts. The answer is simple: our wonderful Creator has equipped us with minds that cannot think on more than one thing at a time. Paul instructed the Romans, "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21). You choose to meditate on "whatsoever things are pure" and, in doing so, you cast down evil imaginations and bring every thought to the obedience of Christ. Scripture memorization and meditation will always overpower evil thoughts.
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things" (Philippians 4:8).
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (II Corinthians 10:5)
"Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee" (Psalm 119:11).
"But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night" (Psalm 1:2).
Never make excuses for lusting after the opposite gender. Doing so is a sin. It is condemned in the Word of God again and again. If you are having problems in this area, God can give you victory! Again, you must protect your eye gates. Satan is using television, Hollywood movies, DVD's and videos, the Internet and teen magizines to bombard your generation with explicit, sinful images. You need to eliminate these influences from your life.
"Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death" (James 1:15).
"For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flatter of the tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids" (Proverbs 6:23-25).
"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28).
"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world....For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world" (I John 2:15-16).
"Thou shalt not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14).
"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" (I Corinthians 6:18).
"For this is the will of God, even your satisfaction, that ye should abstain from fornication" (I Thessalonians 4:3).
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
Don't let Satan deceive you! Not everyone is "doing it." Multitudes of Christian young people across America are preserving their purity as a gift they will someday give to the one God has created for them.
How can a Christian young person live by the Second Royal Law of Courtship in the midst of am "if it feels good, do it" world?
1. Make a vow of chastity to the Lord. this is a solemn promise, a vow to the Lord, a commitment to keep yourself pure until your wedding day. Read the following verse carefully. This is the right thing to do, but be warned: God will hold you to your vow.
"When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee" (Deuteronomy 23:21).
2. Realize the battleground for purity is fought in the mind. Work at developing a pure mind. First, let's be reminded that we are commanded to have a pure mind and heart. God would not command us to do something without giving us the power and ability to do it.
"Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (II Timothy 2:22).
"Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure" (I John 3:2-3).
Guard your eye gates! The mind collects information sent to it for many sources, sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, but most of the information is collected through a person's eye gates! You must be careful what you look at each day.
"I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes" (Psalm 101:3).
"I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?" (Job 31:1).
"How do I deal with evil thoughts?" Mant times I have had young people come in need of advice on how to overcome the wrong kind of thoughts. The answer is simple: our wonderful Creator has equipped us with minds that cannot think on more than one thing at a time. Paul instructed the Romans, "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21). You choose to meditate on "whatsoever things are pure" and, in doing so, you cast down evil imaginations and bring every thought to the obedience of Christ. Scripture memorization and meditation will always overpower evil thoughts.
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things" (Philippians 4:8).
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (II Corinthians 10:5)
"Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee" (Psalm 119:11).
"But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night" (Psalm 1:2).
Never make excuses for lusting after the opposite gender. Doing so is a sin. It is condemned in the Word of God again and again. If you are having problems in this area, God can give you victory! Again, you must protect your eye gates. Satan is using television, Hollywood movies, DVD's and videos, the Internet and teen magizines to bombard your generation with explicit, sinful images. You need to eliminate these influences from your life.
"Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death" (James 1:15).
"For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flatter of the tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids" (Proverbs 6:23-25).
"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28).
"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world....For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world" (I John 2:15-16).
Copyright 2004
by Ultimate Goal Publications
All rights Reserved
(Permission given by Author)
by Ultimate Goal Publications
All rights Reserved
(Permission given by Author)
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Seven Royal Laws of Courtship Part II
Chapter 1
Tenants of the
First Royal Law of Courtship
Part III of III
"By the grace of Almighty God, I will marry
the person God has created for me."
4. No one should be considered who claims to be saved but who refuses to dedicate himself/herself to the Lord and separate from worldliness. This is true because...
A) An undedicated and unseparated young person might not really be saved. "Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 7:20-21)
You have no way of looking into the heart of another young person to know whether or not he/she is truly saved. So you must inspect his/her life to see what it produces. The outward appearance, actions and attitudes make up a young person's fruit. Anyone can talk the talk, but a person who is really saved will have the outward evidences of an inward conversion. If I do not see in a young person a desire to draw close to the Lord, and in doing so, draw away from worldliness, then I should not just assume that he/she is saved.
B) An undedicated and unseparated young person cannot know God's will for his/her life even if he/she is saved. As we already pointed out, those unwilling to dedicate themselves to the Lord and transform their worldy thinking are incapable of discovering God's perfect will for their lives. Do you really want to marry someone who cannot discern his/her divine purpose?
C) The unwillingness to dedicate his/her life to God exposes a character weakness. He/She may not be willing or able to dedicate himself/herself to you.
D) The unwillingness to separate himself/herself from the world exposes another character flaw. Will he/she separate himslef/herself only to you? If someone cannot be true to a perfect God, will that person be true to an imperfect companion?
E) If you are a dedicated Christian, your children will not have a unified example in the home. "My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother" (Proverbs 1:8) Question: how can your children obey this verse if his parents are teaching, by words and example, two different things?
F) You risk becoming a victim of divorce. "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3) There is one thing two people must agree upon if they are going to walk together. They must agree to walk the same direction. Many a Christian young person has settled on marrying someone who was not a dedicated Christian and has determined that he/she would be able to change his/her mate after marriage. Most end up either backsliding and living just like the other mate or divorcing.
My young friend, God has created someone just for you! Will you exercise the patience and wisdom needed to allow God to bring you to that person along the timetable of His perfect will? Will you enact the First Royal Law of Courtship as the law of your life? "By the grace of Almighty God, I will marry the person God has created for me!"
Copyright 2004
by Ultimate Goal Publications
All rights Reserved
(Permission given by Author)
by Ultimate Goal Publications
All rights Reserved
(Permission given by Author)