Chapter 2
Tenants of the
Second Royal Law of Courtship
Part II of VI
"By the grace of Almighty God, I will arrive at
the marriage altar morally pure."
3. Institute a personal "no-touch rule" and enforce it.
A personal no-touch rule means that you do not touch members of the opposite gender who are immediate family, nor do you allow them to touch you. The Bible tells us that this will guard you against fornication.
"Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. Receive us; we have wronged no man, we have corrupted no man, we have defrauded no man." (II Corinthians 7:1-2).
"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" (I Corinthians 7:1-2).
A personal no-touch rule will require you to build relationships based on friendship and respect instead of lust and selfishness. If a young man or a young lady claims to love you, then they will be committed to protecting your purity and your reputation.
It is impossible to maintain a pure mind without maintaining a high standard of physical restraint. No young person can handle a member of the opposite gender without stirring his/her own personal passions. We are commanded in the Bible not to defraud one another. Defrauding another means to stir up desires within them that cannot be rightly satisfied.
"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness" (I Thessalonians 4:3-7).
The time to develope a physical relatonship is after marriage, not before. "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing" (Ecclesiastes 3:1...5).
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
One step of romantic physical contact will lead to the next: holding hands>hugging>kissing>petting>ruined testimony.
I recently read in USA Today that 85% of single 17-year-olds admitted to having already lost their purity. If Christian young people insist of following the dating standards of the world, then they will live with the results of those standards. On the other hand, 100% of young people who institute a personal no-touch rule and anforce it arrive at the marrige altar morally pure. 100%!
4. Never place yourself in a situation that increases the temptation or the opportunity to be immoral. Never be alone or isolated as a couple.
"But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof" (Romans 13:14).
There has been much written in the recent years concerning the difference between dating and courting. Let me summarize the difference simply. Courting is developing a relationship with an individual in the safty of a group. Dating involves a couple isolating themselves from the others and thus leaving themselves open to temptation. The world's dating philosophy has robbed many young people of their purity. Don't date alone in a car. Never be alone in either of your parents' homes. Stay in the safty of good Christian company. Isolation increases temptation and provides opportunity: it makes "provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof".
A personal no-touch rule means that you do not touch members of the opposite gender who are immediate family, nor do you allow them to touch you. The Bible tells us that this will guard you against fornication.
"Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. Receive us; we have wronged no man, we have corrupted no man, we have defrauded no man." (II Corinthians 7:1-2).
"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" (I Corinthians 7:1-2).
A personal no-touch rule will require you to build relationships based on friendship and respect instead of lust and selfishness. If a young man or a young lady claims to love you, then they will be committed to protecting your purity and your reputation.
It is impossible to maintain a pure mind without maintaining a high standard of physical restraint. No young person can handle a member of the opposite gender without stirring his/her own personal passions. We are commanded in the Bible not to defraud one another. Defrauding another means to stir up desires within them that cannot be rightly satisfied.
"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness" (I Thessalonians 4:3-7).
The time to develope a physical relatonship is after marriage, not before. "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing" (Ecclesiastes 3:1...5).
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
One step of romantic physical contact will lead to the next: holding hands>hugging>kissing>petting>ruined testimony.
I recently read in USA Today that 85% of single 17-year-olds admitted to having already lost their purity. If Christian young people insist of following the dating standards of the world, then they will live with the results of those standards. On the other hand, 100% of young people who institute a personal no-touch rule and anforce it arrive at the marrige altar morally pure. 100%!
4. Never place yourself in a situation that increases the temptation or the opportunity to be immoral. Never be alone or isolated as a couple.
"But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof" (Romans 13:14).
There has been much written in the recent years concerning the difference between dating and courting. Let me summarize the difference simply. Courting is developing a relationship with an individual in the safty of a group. Dating involves a couple isolating themselves from the others and thus leaving themselves open to temptation. The world's dating philosophy has robbed many young people of their purity. Don't date alone in a car. Never be alone in either of your parents' homes. Stay in the safty of good Christian company. Isolation increases temptation and provides opportunity: it makes "provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof".
Copyright 2004
by Ultimate Goal Publications
All rights Reserved
(Permissions given by Author)
by Ultimate Goal Publications
All rights Reserved
(Permissions given by Author)
Hello
ReplyDeleteMy name is Rebekah, and I love your blog! I have also read the seven royal laws of courtship ,it is a great book. Have you read staying in the castle?that is also a really good one.thanks so much it is always such an encouragement to meet other young ladies who are serving the Lord.thanks!!!!!!
Rebekah
Rebekah,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for stopping by! Yes, I have read Stay in the Castle...I loved it as well. I have actually already posted that booklet on my blog.
Thanks for much for the kind words!!!